As divorced parents, exchanging children under a custody order can be a challenging experience, especially during the holidays or other special occasions. It’s crucial to approach these transitions with care and cooperation to ensure the best experience for your children. The Smith Firm supports families through every aspect of family law. Here are six best practices for handling custody exchanges effectively:
Kids need to see the parents cooperating and working together. This may be the most crucial holiday gift you can give your kids. A 2012 meta-analysis published in the Journal of Family Psychology found that parental conflict was a more significant predictor of children’s maladjustment than divorce itself. A 2018 Family Relations study highlighted that high parental cooperation and low levels of conflict were associated with children reporting higher satisfaction with their family relationships.
Two parents working together in cooperation could shield kids from the negative ramifications of the divorce itself. They may even do better than living in a high-conflict, intact home. Therefore, the most important thing you can do this holiday season is to demonstrate positive co-parenting with your ex.
Custody orders are designed to provide consistency and predictability for children. Can you arrive on time and follow the agreed-upon exchange details? Late arrivals or last-minute changes can increase tension and create stress for your children. If unforeseen circumstances arise, communicate promptly and respectfully with the other parent.
Exchanging at home suggests to the children there is nothing to be afraid of, which should be the preferred method of exchange. However, if conflict can arise at home, selecting a neutral and safe location for custody exchanges can help reduce potential conflicts. Public places like a park, school, or designated exchange center are great options. These environments discourage negative behavior and create a more positive atmosphere for the children. It’s recommended that the exchange occur naturally or organically so that it doesn’t appear that a neutral location is necessary out of fear or safety but just because that’s “where we are at the time of exchange.”
Your children’s well-being should always be the priority. Avoid discussing adult issues or past conflicts during the exchange. Speak positively about the other parent in front of your child and focus on making the transition as smooth as possible. A calm, reassuring demeanor can help ease any anxiety they may feel.
Please help your child prepare for the exchange by ensuring they have everything they need for their time with the other parent, including clothes, school supplies, and favorite toys or comfort items. This shows respect for the other parent’s time and helps your child feel secure and cared for during the transition.
A clever hack is to create things for the kids to look forward to at the other parent’s house. It may be a gift, an event, or an experience they can look forward to when they get there. This reduces the objections kids may have to leave the house they’ve been at for the last few days or weeks.
It takes two willing parents to co-parent easily, but sometimes, that’s not possible. If an issue arises during the exchange, document it calmly and professionally without escalating it. Use a communication app designed for co-parenting, such as OurFamilyWizard or TalkingParents, to keep records of your interactions. If problems persist, seek legal advice rather than engage in conflict at the time of the exchange.
At The Smith Firm, we understand the challenges of co-parenting and custody exchanges. Our team is committed to helping families navigate these complex issues while prioritizing the children’s needs and creating solutions, not more problems. We can help you if you need advice on modifying a custody order, enforcing visitation rights, or resolving co-parenting conflicts.
Contact The Smith Firm today if you’re dealing with custody-related issues or have questions about family law in Oklahoma. Let us help you create solutions that work for your family.