Narcissistic personalities can have a devastating impact on relationships and families. Narcissists are often self-centered, manipulative, and controlling, and these traits can make divorcing a narcissist even more difficult and painful, but knowing what to anticipate heading into the divorce can make the process more manageable.
What is narcissism?
Narcissism is a personality trait characterized by an inflated sense of self-importance, a need for admiration, and a lack of empathy for others. People with narcissistic personalities may believe that they are superior to others and deserve special treatment. They may also be very critical of others and have a hard time taking criticism themselves.
The 10 types of narcissists
The article “The 10 Types of Narcissists” by Kellen Erskine identifies ten different types of narcissists:
- The Overt Narcissist: This is the classic narcissist, who is arrogant, boastful, and has a grandiose sense of self-importance.
- The Covert Narcissist: Covert narcissists are more subtle than overt narcissists. They may have low self-esteem and be insecure, but they still have a need for admiration and validation from others.
- The Malignant Narcissist: Malignant narcissists are the most dangerous type of narcissist. They are often sadistic and have a complete lack of empathy for others.
- The Vulnerable Narcissist: Vulnerable narcissists are insecure and needy. They have a deep-seated fear of abandonment and rejection.
- The Grandiose Narcissist: Grandiose narcissists have an inflated sense of self-importance. They believe that they are superior to others and deserve special treatment.
- The Exhibitionist Narcissist: Exhibitionist narcissists need to be the center of attention all the time. They may be loud, flamboyant, and attention-seeking.
- The Entitled Narcissist: Entitled narcissists believe that they deserve special treatment and privileges. They have a hard time following rules and respecting others’ boundaries.
- The Exploitative Narcissist: Exploitative narcissists use others to get what they want. They have no regard for others’ feelings or well-being.
- The Closet Narcissist: Closet narcissists are insecure and self-conscious. They may have low self-esteem but still have a need for admiration and validation from others.
- The Compensatory Narcissist: Compensatory narcissists are insecure and have low self-esteem. They may overcompensate for their insecurities by being arrogant, boastful, and controlling.
Narcissism and divorce
Divorce can be a very difficult and challenging experience for anyone, but it can be especially challenging for people who are married to a narcissist. Narcissists may be unwilling to cooperate with the divorce process, and they may try to manipulate and control their spouse throughout the proceedings.
Here are some of the challenges that people may face when getting a divorce from a narcissist:
- Narcissistic spouses may be unwilling to compromise. Narcissists often have a black-and-white view of the world, and they may believe that they deserve everything in the divorce. This can make it difficult to reach an agreement on issues such as child custody, alimony, and property division.
- Narcissistic spouses may be vindictive and spiteful. Narcissists may feel threatened by divorce, and they may try to hurt their spouse in retaliation. This may involve making false accusations, spreading rumors, or sabotaging their spouse’s finances.
- Narcissistic spouses may try to use their children as pawns. Narcissists may try to turn their children against their spouse or use them to manipulate the divorce process. This can be very damaging to the children’s emotional well-being.
If you are getting a divorce from a narcissist, it is important to seek legal and emotional support. A divorce lawyer can help you to protect your rights and interests during the divorce process. A therapist can provide you with emotional support and help you to cope with the challenges of narcissistic abuse.
Here are some additional tips for getting a divorce from a narcissist:
- Document everything. This includes keeping a record of all communications with your spouse, as well as any evidence of financial abuse or other wrongdoing.
- Set clear boundaries. Be clear about what you are and are not willing to accept during the divorce process. Do not be afraid to say no to your spouse’s demands.
- Build a support system. Surround yourself with supportive friends and family members who can offer you emotional support and practical advice.
- Take care of yourself. Make sure to get enough sleep, eat healthy foods, and exercise regularly. It is also important to find healthy ways to manage stress, such as meditation or yoga.
Getting a divorce from a narcissist is not easy, but it can be made more manageable by understanding the issue and anticipating the obstacles going into it. The attorneys at The Smith Firm are well versed on the issue and are prepared to help you navigate the divorce process if you’re divorcing a narcissist. Schedule a consultation today, or call us at (405) 843-1000 to seek assistance.